Boundaries with Boys

This handsome young man could be her one.

His name is Garrett and he’s a gentleman, which is probably the reason she fell in love. He uses his manners and smiles at everyone he meets, and he wrote 100 promises when he gave his lady love a “waiting” ring.

Promise  Ring

And she’s a lady, through and through—Karaline— our kind and gentle “KareBear.”

Even though they’re only in high school, this grandmother can imagine them in a solid marriage one day.
Grandparents have that sense, you know.

After college would be my preference, but more than anything, I want God’s will for her life.

Thanks to their youth group at church, Karaline and Garrett are protecting their future with boundaries set today. They’re careful about spending too much time alone together and they are saving physical intimacy for marriage.

And his eyes reveal how he cherishes her. It’s so obvious. He can see her as his bride, walking toward him in white, to become his wife, his treasure, forever. He can imagine her bearing and mothering their children. He can picture himself growing old by her side.

These two youngsters are wise old souls, with their faith as their center.

Several times I’ve shared with her about my relationship regrets and a few mistakes I hope she can avoid. I’ve mentioned the importance of open and honest communication about everything that will one day become a part of married life and raising children. She listened and is still asking good questions. She wants to use caution and good judgment because she trusts her Garrett to do the same. And so do I.

Of her concerns, my advice is usually, “Ask God,” or “Wait on God.”

“But, I’m in love, Grandma, and I don’t want to lose Garrett. What if he is attracted to someone else or what if he wants to date other girls?”

True love waits, Daughter. God’s plan promises, “It’s worth the wait.”

And there’s a huge payoff in the here and now and the happily ever after—a beautiful union for life and life more abundantly, as two become one.

Trust God, the One who loves you both the most, to guide you and to be there when you wonder what your future holds.

Remember, Children, He only has your best in mind.


…so Christ was sacrificed once to take away the sins of many; and he will appear a second time, not to bear sin, but to bring salvation to those who are waiting for him.
Hebrews 9:28 (NIV)

KH-GW Prom2014

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7 Comments

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7 responses to “Boundaries with Boys

  1. I absolutely love this post (and your blog)! I wish I had created boundaries with boys in my youth, but thankfully I learned to in my adulthood. I remember making promises to God only to let Him down and be left with a guilt like no other. The sad thing was that while letting Him down I was wearing my “purity” ring that read: True Love Waits. Thankfully it took one slip up after my accident for me to get sick enough of the sin to ditch it. I took the plunge by getting baptized in June of 2010, began pressing into the Lord more than ever, and was abstinent until my wedding night May 17, 2013. I read books such as “Passion and Purity,” and Kay Arthur’s “The Truth About Sex.” Temptation was still there, don’t get me wrong, but setting boundaries is key. I love that Karaline and Garrett are careful about spending too much time alone together. That is key. May God bless their courtship immensely, and may they continue to keep HIM at the center of it all! 🙂

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    • Thank you, Jennifer, for your kind words, and for the testimony. I think we’ve all been challenged by the idea of boundaries and allowing God to direct our path. And because we personally know or have experienced the temptations, we pray all the more for the younger ones coming behind us. I’ll share your encouragment with them.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. coffeeandcandles

    They are a beautiful couple! It is so refreshing to see young people commit their relationships to the Lord because that’s the way it should be. Prayers for them as they continue to walk this out and be a good example to their peers.

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    • Thank you, Karen, and obviously, I agree. I pray their love will survive four years of college and that they will keep Christ at the center of their relationship. Youth has so many distractions…and prayers are definitely appreciated.

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  3. Cheryl, so happy that you Karaline listens to your words of wisdom. My prayer is that they will both stay pure until that their wedding day. I have witnessed weddings that I knew both parties had kept the boundaries. There was such a sweet anointing all through the ceremony. Seemed like a fragrance of love filled the air.

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    • I know what you mean about that special anointing at weddings, Aunt Lois, as I’ve witnessed it myself. It always brings tears to my eyes and it’s a tangible feeling when you enter the church. I pray that for Karaline and Garrett. They are trusting God to direct their steps and have decided that no matter what, they will always be great friends. Time will tell.

      Liked by 1 person

      • WE KNOW THAT BEING PURE BEFORE MARRIAGE VERY DIFFICULT IN THESE DAYS BECAUSE YOUNG PEOPLE HAVE SO MUCH VISUAL THROWN BEFORE THEIR EYES. I BELIEVE IT IS POSSIBLE IF THEY BOTH KEEP THEIR EYES ON JESUS AND DEDICATE THEIR LIVES TO HIM. PRAYING FOR THEM IS ABSOLUTELY A NECESSITY.

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